Saturday, January 3, 2015

2014 PCT Day to Day Journal


Pacific Crest Day to Day Trail Journal
Steven’s Pass, WA to Crater Lake, OR  
10/3/2014  Fred Allebach and Kim Bartlett

August 3 – Amtrak Train to Seattle, 3 hours late departing Martinez
August 4 – Green Tortoise Hostel, Seattle
August 5 - Start Hiking Date 4.3 miles Lake Susan
August 6 - 10.3 miles Glacier Lake
August 7 - 12.7 miles Cathedral Pass
August 8 - 10.9 miles Waptus River
August 9 - 13.8 miles Lemah Creek
August 10 - 8.1 miles Parks Lakes
August 11 – 12.3 miles Common Wealth Creek
Resupply Snoqualame Pass thunder hail and rain
August 12 – 7.5 miles Ollalie Meadows
August 13 – 11.4 miles Daisy “dry” meadows
August 14 – 11.0 miles Forest Bench
August 15 – 14.4 miles small camp by spring
August 16 – weather broke – 10+miles arch rock shelter
August 17 – 16 miles Sheep Lake by Rainer
August 18 – 7.2 miles Anderson Lake
August 19 – 14.3 miles Snow Lake
August 20 – White Pass Campground – Resupply
August 21 – 11.7 miles Tieton Pass
August 22 – 6.0 miles Elk Pass held up for storm to pass for the crossing of spine in Goat Rocks
August 23 – 8 miles Sheep Lake by trail heads more drizzle/rain
August 24 – 13.5 miles Last pond with GI Joe
August 25 – 11.7 miles Killen Creek base of Mount Adams
August 26 – 13.8 miles Swamp Creek
August 27 – 1.2 miles to Road for ride with Rock Ocean to Trout Lake - Resupply
August 27 – 28 ZERO’s Trout Lake Grocery (Wow what connections in 2 days!)
August 29 – 10.2 miles Mosquito Lake Outlet with all the other “boneheadsJ
August 30 – 13.4 miles Blue Lake
August 31 – 14.3 miles Huckleberry Mountain

This trip is the reverse of the same exact hike we did in 2008. Instead of ending at Steven’s Pass, we started there. Every long trip into the Intermountain area has to consider logistics of fire, snowpack, water availability, bugs, factors that end up bookending what we choose for beginning and ending points. This year snow was not bad up north and fires were already burning south, so we plotted a course with hopefully the least troubles.

This was one of now, many long distance hikes we have done, 1000 miles on the Appalachian Trail in 2005, the John Muir Trail in 2006, 700 miles in WA and OR on the PCT in 2008, 900 miles in Nor Cal on the PCT in 2011, Carson Pass to Taboose Pass on the PCT in 2012, and 650 miles on this hike.

8/3
We finally reached escape velocity after much prep and disengagement from our day-to-day lives. It took two weeks to prepare and at that time we had two guests for much of the time plus work; the pressure was hard, too many things to focus on besides our trip. Michael and Marianne drove us to Martinez to catch the train and took us out to dinner, very nice of them, again. As usual AMTRAK was way late and at…

8/4
1:30 AM we depart Martinez. Dawn comes at Castle Crags, Mt Shasta is smoked in from regional fires; we see fires burning right from the train, right out the window; a train ride through an inferno. Arrive Klamath Falls, along the way we see western juniper, Klamath Lake, tule reeds, lots of birds, see over towards Lava Beds National Monument, recall the Modoc Indians, Captain Jack’s War, the juniper, Alturas, the Warner Mountains, Cedarville and over into Nevada, the Burning Man area, Black Rock Desert, Pyramid Lake; it’s impressive big country around here, full of history, landscape, memories, feeling. We have a sense of the region from previous trips. We have enjoyed getting to know California. On the railroad siding long trains are stretched to the vanishing point; where are all those trains going? I feel part of something bigger culturally, geologically, biologically, escape velocity opens the expansive Fred. Volcanoes are here; we are in the Cascades, Mt. McLaughlin. Onwards north, there is Mt. Bachelor and then a stunning view of Rainier at sunset.

From Olympia, WA and north the train goes right along Puget Sound, with long views of the Olympic Mountains and peninsula; at the waterfront a sunset glow shimmers as the train rattles along. Port of Tacoma: we roll through the bowels of main artery world and national trade networks; there is Vashon Island! The landscape fills with memories and thoughts. This trip I take no camera, a decision to leave the digital tech behind, focus more in the present, own it now.

Later in the evening we get to Seattle, walk @ 1 mile downtown to get to the Green Tortoise hostel, right by the main entrance to Pike Place Market on the waterfront.

8/5
The hostel and room was super hot inside with no AC or air; there was a fan mounted in our bunk; a fellow bunker stayed up late, got drunk, came in, knocked my pack over and then he ended up sleeping on the floor on top of my glasses; we woke early, muddled through the breakfast setup and made it back to the station to catch our train to Everett. Along the waterfront of Puget Sound, the train took us along pleasing exposures of tidelands framed by a grey, misty, hanging shroud of moisture; to the north were the Straits of Juan de Fuca, fish and marine life all out there suspended in three dimensions below the flat plane of the water’s surface.

I feel a sense of escaping from the machines; I’m disconnected from the Internet, the quiet beckons. I don’t miss it, no withdrawal. Kim and I sit next to each other, hold hands; we’re in this together. The train has taken us in two days what will take more than two months to walk. Leaving one world, another opens up.

8/6
On the way to camping at Glacier Lake we swim at another lake, arrive at a campsite where a mouse is all over the place, inspiring fear it will chew into our packs. The mouse was wild, searched for food in other places and ignored our packs. A bold mouse it was. Some other folks camped nearby, a father, son and son’s friend. The boys were struggling a little, Dad had to carry the son’s pack.  

8/7
In town you go to the bathroom, close the door, drop a deuce and flush it, not much more to say. In the woods you can’t escape having to deal with your shit, look at it, bury it, handle the whole scene in a much more direct way and thus shit becomes a going topic of conversation; how was it? What did it look like? What texture, size etc.? Shit even inspires poetry: He laboriously lurched a lingering, lugubrious log.

Furthermore you can’t say “I have to go to the bathroom.” Because there is no bathroom, the squeamishness of talking your way around bodily functions is just not honest in the woods. And so, “I have to shit” is the correct terminology. One time a guy told us he saw an elk “go to the bathroom”. OK, and then the guy said, ‘so I went to the bathroom to mark my territory’.

Increased level of exercise and pressure on your gut from the pack waist strap results in a more active and immediate bowel movement. You pop a Texan, leave a Brown Recluse, a Moose Lake steamer etc. We have fun with it.

Stopping for a water break is a ritual, time taken to appreciate, to notice, to rest, a pause.

The mind buzzes, walking through a post-glacial landscape large and dramatic in the highest order, huge forces from the past are now quiet, in remission. We see what has been carved out. We stay at Cathedral Pass, up high, in the clouds and wind, jagged mountains right above us, try to keep a low profile for impact, not squash plants, stay on the rockier substrates.

8/8
Down, down, down to the Waptus River, find a secluded spot near the river where we can hear all the river noises. Sleeping next to this glacial river, with the multitude of sounds, put a spell on me, took me to the bottom of the ocean, rearranged my mind, dialed me into nature, simplicity, an ancient way to exist, to be. A deep sleep took me to my roots as a creature among creatures.

8/9
Lemah Creek. California drought, when you have a common stressor on a common pool resource there comes the need to pull together to create a sensible common response. A take that collective limits is a violation of individual rights, is counter productive. If voluntary conservation doesn’t work, statewide and in Sonoma, need to go to next step of regulation; 20% reduction hasn’t worked voluntarily

8/10
Parks Lakes

8/11
Commonwealth Creek. Humans are adapted for strength by cooperation; in a modern context a different type power and control emerges, based on the few holding all the marbles. Then again you could see it that groups have always competed with each other, cooperation is only for the in-group, or for treaties and understandings about mutually used territory. There’s always been elites, from the time of civilization and stratified society.  

As I look at socially constructed life, I can break it down by religion, anthropology, biology, Machiavelli, political, ideological, national, mythical, evolutionary, technology, art, economy, symbolic, ideas and ideals. These are one slate of categories cooked up by my ‘reason’, qualities of everyday life that have become abstractions. I don’t know if I could live in a world otherwise, I’m so used to seeing it this way. Presumably though, our ancestors lived in a space where all these categories were unified into one coherent mind and culture, where all made sense in terms of the whole. There was no art or religion, those things were folded into the whole as indelible parts.

Being in the right place at the right time: we come around the corner and boom: blood red sunrise with a full moon setting, glaciated ridge; let the game come to you, aligned, in the flow, no wrong notes. This is my trail ideal, kind of like life as jazz improvisation, a chance to really play with this style on the trail. This is the culmination of all my indoctrination, all that I have admired and grew up with.

I reflect on the Grateful Dead, the symbolism and metaphor, in the music and lyrics, it’s deep enough to serve. All roads do lead to the Grateful Dead, and they all lead to you and me as well.

I find myself looking off the edge of space into the universe, into time and space itself. I somehow am able to see this, out of a normal presumption that time and space is only a bubble right in front of my eyes on earth; I never look up, never think in terms of: where is the edge of the universe? Where does the universe start and earth end?  

“What does your sparkle truly portend? Shimmering brilliance, light without end”. Ken Nordine.

At some point there is a divide with faith and reason; reason equals modernity and fragmentation; faith equals traditional and is holistic. This is the same type of split between Logos and Mythos, between objective logic and subjective myth; two ways of seeing and describing the nature of the world. Once I‘ve got this all sliced and diced just right, how will I know I’ve cut the whole tomato? In the end all we conceive is a social construct, Logos or Mythos. Even if we ascertain an objective, fact, reason-based level, that still has to get filtered back through social construct-ville.

Tomatoes come in many flavors. If all the disparate aspects were sheep and we were shepherds, we just try to do our best to bring all our sheep in, don’t leave the black one out. All gets filtered back and through language. The feeling behind, the values behind, drives as much as anything what the flavor is; feeling/ preference/ from whence come our peculiar senses of how it is?

What are the rules of the game? Who are the rules of the game for? The American Revolution was a merchant’s revolution, now the merchants have become the new aristocracy; the structure gets bent to give advantage to those in power. All through history before, the sane type of stuff in different forms. Injustice has always been with us.

Comparing and contrasting… for philosophical reasons or for power and control; you just want to be heard and understood for what you mean to say and be. One person saying one thing represents a set of open and closed doors. Another person, the pattern is different. How can they ever block together?

One divide in understanding is between literalists, between one-trackers and wide-netters.  Another divide is stylistic, intimate enemy-type of stuff: low riders vs. hot rods. Whatever it is, you never get out of it. It doesn’t matter if you ever get out of car customization arguments as it is inconsequential. With literalists: religion, politics, nationalism, things can get much more serious. Intractable dispute, rigid frames.

8/12
Ollalie Meadows. Resupply, into the bowels of the system, big transportation artery, power lines, nukes, coal, hydro power, connected buzzing lines, Chevron, then escape from the roar of the Combine to: endless huckleberries, the peace of a less desirable section, less people, just a relief to be back in the woods.

A wicked, tremendous thunderstorm, driving rain, lightning very close. The bottom part of our tent was underwater but we stayed mostly dry. During a small break in the rain I got up to dig trenches, took a taste of surrendering to being wet. Living outside 24/7 for months at a time means you got to surrender to discomfort, easier to do it with grace and a good attitude.

8/13
Daisy (Dry) Meadows. Huckleberries! Clear-cuts, much less scenic than our first section from Steven’s Pass to Snoqualmie Pass. The cloud ceiling has been low with lots of fog which has obscured the long views of these industrial timber lands and left us seeing only the spire-tipped canopies close by. We need the wood. Might as well get it from our own backyard and not foist the effects of the consumption on some other country.

8/14
Forest Bench. Fog in the forest, doors and veils through space and time, mystery, unknown.

8/15
Small camp by a spring. Day #3 of surrendering to rain and wet, the sun has to come out sometime.

The hike is very difficult physically, heavy pack, wet tent, the miles seem long, a struggle to do over 10 miles, carrying water on dry stretches, a hard break-in I guess, need to lighten: pack, stove, tent, raingear. Lightening costs a lot; we always think of this now, then back in town forget all about it. We seem to just use the sane gear we have, good enough, it works for us.

8/16
Arch Rock shelter. Hiked 14.5 miles to the end of a no water stretch of 10 miles, pesto dinner, dry tent in rainy weather, smelly bodies, 5 days rainy and wet, met Medicine Man, who is going for a sustainable engineering degree in Canada, to work in ag and feed people, a really good kid; he’s a thru hiker, just goes to show, everyone who drives a BMW is not a prick, every thru hiker is not a jerk. Sometimes the lowest denominator tends to define groups.

It’s cold, all the warm gear on. Little birds flying from snag to snag in the fog, I see them as spirits of all my dead relatives, they have accompanied us the whole hike and are here in the yard back home now. Out of the corner of my eye, flit, flit, flit, there they are again: Uncle Bud, Dad, Mambu, Pop Pop, Aunt Sis… Magical thinking does not seem to rise to the level of a belief system; it’s fun, play, creative; and who can side-step considering mortality?

8/17
Sheep Lake, near Mt. Rainier. Foggy, spire-tipped, lichen-draped, cold, quiet forest. Troubles with feet from 5 days wet sox, cold/ condensation inside tent, hard ground, struggle to stay warm and comfortable.

Sense of Pacific NW forest, Noble fir, big trees.

Made 16 miles to Sheep Lake! Tired, go to bed late (7:30 PM), Sheep Lake is close to trail heads, full of weekenders, all out in the bushes, everywhere; you know there is shit under every bush, the water is shit tea; better purify that, people all have to have a fire and the air is full of smoke in the cool morning inversion; noise, people, up late, everything you’re trying to get away from ends up finding you when you don’t go far enough out, when you are trapped by the weekend frame, not enough time or space to find wilderness when all focus and population pressure is on the same easy to get to, well known, advertised in Backpacker Magazine, Facebook kind of places.

You see people lost in their cell phones, sending pictures and selfies of where they are; headphones on, they are not present; all becomes life as if it was a Facebook page, a transparent construction of ‘my reality’, for you to look at… the culmination of hominin evolution, pitiful.

Starting to learn the trees: Trees are not easy to ID; they’re not all cookie cutter images of each other; there is a developmental growth context, the young ones look diff than the old, juveniles are different, needles look different in the shade vs. the sun, bark varies/ sun, developmental, crown types and shapes give a clue. There’s a lot of cross-over in characteristics; these variables have to be sifted through before you finally arrive comfortably at saying: this is such and such. There is a lot more to tree ID than just getting one tree here or there; by walking 650 miles through the Pacific Crest, you see a big variety over one species, this gives a depth of appreciation for how many diff phenotypes you get out of a genotype, what the range is. Studying trees has been an entry point for me, into knowing the landscape in a deeper way. Some key in through identifying birds, mushrooms, whatever it takes, keying in on something is a requisite to opening up the larger picture within which all connects.

8/18
Anderson Lake. Tonight I’ll be a commissioner! FCA appointed by Sonoma city council to the Community Services and Environmental Commission.

In civilization, in the city, the standard ice-breaker greeting is “how are you doing?” ON the trail: “Where are you coming from?”, “Where are you sleeping tonight?” This is tiresome to me but what are you going to do? I typically just say ‘hi’ and don’t get framed by someone else’s auto-pilot, which is not to say I am so great and conscious as to never be on auto pilot myself.

We get down to a big parking lot in the Rainier area, a big step-off spot for weekend hikes, day hikes, sort of near the big WPA lodge there on the east side. This is a perfect opportunity to Yogi food from people who are leaving and may have some extra. You’re begging for food, subtly. You set them up, lead them to it: you mention you’re hungry, ‘oh we have some food…’ I got some Mac-n-cheese dinners, Clif bars etc., some of this goes straight down the hatch. As I was putting our food trash in the can I Yogied someone else and they misunderstood what was happening, ‘you eat from the trash!?’, no just parking lot begging when the fruit is ripe.

Along the hike in general we are the beneficiaries of some great Yogiing; we get loaded up by the generosity of others, are able to eat two diners per person, double snacks, more coffee, pistachios, Payday candy bars etc. When the opportunity comes up, I jump right on it. Yes we want food. People typically bring way too much, food and gear, and after a few days they realize they could divest; we are there to jump on that.

We find ourselves moving through the landscape; we see it in the distance, walk to it, through it; we’re in it; an outstanding view south, from east of Mt. Rainier, then immersed in hill and dale, drink the water, see the flowers, walk the valleys, get a sense of WA, the essence of dramatic, glaciated, watery, thick forested Cascades. I keep getting a sense of looking off the edge of the earth into the galaxy, the universe, contemplating all of time, Big Bang, Cambrian explosion of life, animals, rocks, the whole sweep right up to the doorstep of Now. This is a goal of mine, to open up to an expansive process; getting from Point A to Point B is just a prop within which these sorts of creative, transformational, awe inspired thoughts can flourish. This is the inspiration, the solitude, the renewal that wilderness offers. It’s not really wild, it’s the best facsimile of that we can get in 2014 given the history and the current population.

Giant U-shaped valleys come off Mt. Rainier, you can see them, the footprint of the glacier’s path; they drive down away from the peak of Rainier, off into the distance; they are the river valleys, the negative imprint of past times; the post-glacial landscape is always present, fun to be able to imagine the ice, how it carved everything out; like a life and love carve out mine and Kim’s hearts and the heart of humanity. The inner landscape becomes a remnant of that which has come before. You are marked, altered, carved out by the glaciers of your life, of your culture, love, feelings, meanings, values; life’s events, like so many boulders embedded in the ice as it flows down and scrapes, molds and shapes your personal landscape underneath.

8/19
Snow Lake. Sometimes in order to take a good shit with no monkey butt after, you have to let those mosquitos just bite your ass; you know their doing it but you have to stay cool, let them bite, and keep dropping that deuce, if you tense up, you lose the flow and pinch off too soon, then get monkey butt later. Monkey butt can last all day, so this is to be avoided. Taking the right moment to shit is important, wait too long, the shit takes a time out, it’s not ready, best not to force it, take the right moment, hear the call. The position taken to shit in the woods is much better and more conducive to complete elimination than sitting on a toilet seat. When you are squatted over there is pressure on your gut, on a toilet seat there is none; the natural shit is much better all around. Kim and I use no toilet paper, do not carry any; we use whatever is out there, lichens, rocks, sticks, there’s always something you can use. Thus, we leave no trash, we don’t need to burn TP, carry it; we’re on the other side of toilet paper, bum wad, mountain money. Fog moistened wolf lichens/ Spanish moss are the best. Kim collects good pieces to use later. It’s entertaining to see rough and ready thru hikers, who ‘need’ toilet paper.

Another 14 plus mile day done smartly by Team Slow, with good endurance and attitude, now at Snow Lake, quiet, wind, tomorrow: town!

8/20
White Pass/ resupply. The lake is perfectly still and quiet, shrouded by fog, spires of Pacific silver fir, Noble fir, and wispy Western hemlock all fade into the misty mystery. Last night the surface of the lake was buffeted and textured by light winds. It’s cold and damp, all clothes on; Kim gets ready while I drink coffee.

Going into Goat Rocks Wilderness tomorrow, a challenging place weather-wise, substrate-wise, altitude etc. At our resupply here at White Pass we met Maverick, a nice fellow, someone who shared our take on the trail, as more of a wilderness transformational experience than an athletic event.

For this resupply we stayed by a lake near the highway, in a Forest Service campground; we had a fire, gathered all the old coals and wood left in adjacent fire pits and got a nice one going; it was cold! A horseman rode by, he saw us sitting on log rounds by our fire, then he backed up his horse and told us there was a state-wide fire restriction in place, we could get fined $5000 and get 6 months in jail… Just as we had settled in to sit by the fire and be warm, we had to put it out ASAP and afterwards retreated to the tent to stay warm. Later in the evening many elk came out of the woods and sloshed around the watery grass at the shoreline to drink, a bunch of them. They come at night; they don’t want you to see them, as they have no clothes.

Cars drove by the forest Service road, there was a helicopter, semi truck noise; we’re in the fucking Combine, got to get out of here and back to the woods, back to the simplicity, just Kim and I, our food and shelter and a day’s hike; the rest is the gravy of immersion in nature. Civilization is something you look forward to for the amenities, getting your resupply food and maybe a treat, but in places were it’s a gas station or some such, the atmosphere is so fundamentally unpleasant, I just want to get in and out ASAP. I get nice and quieted down in the woods, all the industrial hype and plastic food, flashing signs, car noise, is too much dissonance, too out of control. In the woods you can potentially control your state of mind; its simple enough; in civilization you get buffeted by so many things beyond your control, it gets annoying, and, you’re not numb to it, as “normal”, and so the defenses are down. Back to the woods.

Later, we noticed Forest Service posted notices that said nothing about a fire restriction. I asked a ranger and the ranger said: the fire prohibition is for state lands, Forest Service lands are federal, the state rule does not apply; so, we put that fire out for nothing. We had relatively few fires in 2 months anyway; and we sure didn’t and don’t want to start a forest fire. When it is cold a fire is good. We carry fire starters I made out of paraffin wax, drier lint, melted into egg carton cardboard, just light the corner and you can start wet wood. Being able to make a fire is a requisite survival skill; keep that lighter dry and carry a few matches.

One time we got caught in some high winds, on a real cold night, pushed the edge some, had a fire, the smoke blew all over our tent that was 30 yards away, made the fly smell smoky for weeks, put ash on it that never came out. The coals crept out of the fire pit and spread in the duff, luckily it went out, could have started a root fire. The next morn this said wind took away my cool, flustered and unnerved me as I packed up, shit flapping everywhere, which effected Kim, we came undone, again, par for the course, but I digress. That you can control your state of mind is a potential.

8/21
Tieton Pass. Shifty skies belie coming rain and weather, cold, windy, the dawn breaks through rangy clouds, the moon and stars appear, disappear, reappear. In the thick forest an amazing palette of green color abounds. Wolf and other lichen species drape everywhere.

We stay at an old hunter camp inside the Goat Rocks caldera; at an anonymous spring we thought was Tieton Pass Springs. There was a bull elk skull with the antlers sawed off. The hunters came out here looking for what we are looking for; they took back, in their own way, the wild spirit of the elk, of nature. In this old style hunter camp, the horses were tethered right to the trees, chewed them up, made a mess, high impact, unsightly, but horses are big animals. To pack out all that stuff, to be high impact, well, that was OK when the West didn’t have so many people. Now what we have in terms of impact are problems of scale, too many people.

The hunter impulse is primal. A hunter is a predator, the top dog; it’s a whole other way of being; you’re not afraid; others are afraid of you, yet at the same time you realize hunters can be hunted by bigger hunters.

Hikers on the PCT carry with them the inheritance of the ancestors, a cocky attitude of the hunter and conqueror and a landscape devoid of large, dangerous predators. In the past the ancestors were a tough bunch, with guns or not. Now, after 1000s of years of domestication we city boys have lost the skill set; we’ve got the auto pilot that nature s conquered  but n the ground, city boy hikers have no weapons, no knowledge, just assume all is OK, that the animals left, black bears, mountain lions, will remain afraid of our legacy.

8/22
Elk Pass. The trajectory of ‘the individual’ is not set in some kind of interpretive stone as to what it all means. There is no one way to define it, in history, evolution, religion, politics, social science, by only one slice of interpretation, by one form of exegesis, by one memeular structure. i.e. it can’t be by libertarianism alone. It’s a pretty big ball of wax that includes many threads (nice mixed metaphor if I say so myself)

What we have is a gradual emancipation from social constraints, from where the group. There must always have been group/ individual tensions. As things got more modern, the individual got more freedom, and more philosophical justification. Technology aided the process. If you’ve got no guns, etc, you can’t take on the lions of life all alone.

On the PCT there are age set differences, teens and 20 somethings, middle age, retired. There are not that many in the middle as they are not freed up from jobs, kids etc. It’s not easy to be able to take months off. We can only do this by consciously taking our retirement up front, laughable that we would even have retirement given that we don’t like work in the sense of having to perform inherently undesirable, working class, servant-like tasks simply to get $ to pay the rent. We cultivate a space if being independently poor. Tactics: very low overhead, no debt, no kids to pay for, low need to consume status and luxury items, inexpensive thrift store type tastes, we shoot to save enough to buy the time to pay rent for the months we are gone. Our rent and expenses are very low all things considered; we’re happy enough; some call it poverty. The actual cost of being on the trail is @ $1000 per month; it costs more to have a place and a life to come back to. The real trail hobos and follow-the-circus types do this year round, with super low overhead, true vagabonds, wanderers, intoxicated by freedom yet insecure, always on the edge. The lifestyle appears romantic to the secure; the reality of it though, the hard edge of homelessness, is another story. Hobos and drifters who do it more as a choice, I think, have a better go; it’s a lifestyle rather than forced hard times.

8/23
Sheep Lake. We stop just before the Goat Rocks knife edge ridge area. Due to big thundercloud buildup, we turn back and find a camp below in a meadow by a snowmelt stream. The clouds never blow, yet it was a good safety call. Conservatism has survival benefits. I go up the hill from camp and look at some big Alaska cedars hidden among hemlocks and Sub Alpine fir, get some cones and make a necklace that I leave hanging on a tree.

8/24
By last misty pond, with GI Joe. There were hordes of people around Packwood glacier, in the most dramatic section of Goat Rocks Wilderness. The quantity starts to outstrip quality; the raison d'être, solitude, is lost in mass fervor of alienated ants swarming out of Seattle to get a taste of dramatic natural honey. They ought to close some national parks for a year or two at a time, an Edward Abbey-esque prescription, solitude for solitude alone, minus the people. All the people cheapen and degrade the land.

The conscious hawking of a destination or activity, for profit, for fun, for whatever, cheapens it; it’s the tourist paradox, let the cat out of the bag, no more mystery, same as Sonoma CA, the hordes destroy what it was they were coming to see, it becomes superficial, about exteriors, about gear, about what can you do for ME.

8/25
Killen Creek, at base of Mt. Adams. We met Joe from Fort Sill, from the Army; he is totally on the gear. OK, we have to talk about gear, again, people are just so on it it’s hard to avoid.

I see my first lodge pole pine at the Waptus River trail junction, then more and more, plus western white pines, an old favorite. There are few western whites on the PCT on this Cascades volcano hike that rival the likes of the Sierra Nevada western white pines. Around Mt. Adams there is a nice diverse conifer forest. We met Cow Patty at the junction, she did some sophisticated Yogiing on us and got food; she was strange, odd.
We arrive at a fantastic camp with view of Mt. Adams, a river, waterfall, glacier view. I find a lake below to dive in cool blue water, with a view Mt. Rainier. The sun sets over still water, Mt. Rainier shrouded in clouds; back to the immediacy of the Adams camp, the blue in the glaciers, crisp, clear air, the sound of the creek. While the camp is great for all the above reasons, being in a drainage below glaciers also means the cold air funnels down at night and it gets cold. Watercourses carry the coldest air off the mountains. If you want to be warmer, camp out of drainages, up by 100’ or so, it will be considerably warmer. Sometimes though, the creek side camp is too hard to resist in the sunny afternoon. It’s a short term thinking temptation you may regret the next morning.

8/26
Swamp Creek

8/27
Trout Lake. We camped by a bridge above Trout Lake road, same camp we were at in 2008 when Kim’s sons came to meet us on another PCT hike, same hike as this just reversed. The tent: Kim loves her little nest, to pack her things away in bags, be secure, have her mate right close and unable to get away to a computer or other distraction. To see her light in the tent, in the middle of the thick, dark forest makes me see something special, how small we are, so precious. I adore her; she melts my heart.

There is a primo specimen tree right next to this camp, to the north across the creek, can’t remember the species, Mountain hemlock I think, maybe Grand fir, a huge tree, one of the biggest so far on this hike.  

The forest diversity is really nice here. For the tree seeker, the Pacific northwest forest on the Cascade crest is really fun. After 200 miles now I am distinguishing many aspects of the trees: crown shape, branch development, color, needle aspect, cones etc. The trees are coming in to focus. With my interest in natural history, I make a note to study David Douglas, George Steller, George Engelmann, Archibald Menzies, all explorer/ naturalists whose names are enshrined in the trees and animals I study now: Douglas fir (Pseudotsuga menziesii), Steller’s jay, Engelmann spruce etc. I love this stuff; I can throw myself into endless study of the explorers and naturalists: Cook, Vancouver, Humboldt, Darwin, Bering, Barents, Franklin, Bodega y Quadra, Juan de Fuca, Ulloa, Cabrillo, Vizcaino, Coronado, Cabeza de Vaca; I’m fascinated by this cast of characters that span the 1500s through the 1800s.

The trees open all of this up for me, my entry point to history, to the landscape.

8/28
Trout Lake, a certain quaint rural area of south central WA, above the Columbia Gorge, above George, WA, near Mt. Adams, an apparently nice, tight-knit community, General Store at the center with Bev the proprietor.

We meet Lindy, a Yakama Indian; she described the rough conditions of crime, drugs, booze, child molestation, corrupt leaders/ special interests, fracking next to Mt. Adams wilderness on the Yakama reservation. She had been coming to the Trout Lake store since she was a child and Bev did not know her name. At the general store hostel we get a queen-size bedroom, 1 of 2 rooms, and being around this hiker stop, we hear different hiker’s stories.

We enjoy the hike because of where it gets us; nature is our church, our ultimate muse. It takes us out of our heads, shows a world of fantastic magic and mystery, ordered in some way, beyond social construction. The hiking is something we enjoy doing together; it’s good for our relationship.

I go in on a huckleberry pie and ice cream with some other hikers. The whole huckleberry scene is interesting; there are itinerant pickers, Thai or something, from Seattle, Indians pick on their land, they all use rakes to get the berries faster. The berries sell big. Bev is a buyer and sells them regionally. One lady makes 100s of pies a year, selling them for like $25. Some of the pickers are rough, hard drinking white guys, others are families full of conspiracy theories, rough and tumble. Wild mushroom harvesting is big too. I have a nice chat with the husband of one of Bev’s daughters, a Japanese guy. The trail experience is rich with different things. Trout Lake is a good stop; we decide to stay another day. Kim hits it off very well with Bev and some of the locals on the front porch. Kim reawakens her own local roots. I always tell people Kim is a local, she’s just not local from around here. She loves the small town feel and has a special appreciation for rednecks, as she is part-ways that herself.

On the wall of the hostel is the Desiderata: “… if you compare yourself to others you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.” And “… do not distress yourself with imaginings…” Kim later writes a Hiker’s Creed based on Desiderata.

Up the road, Forest Service ladies made me color copies of tree ID stuff from the various books they had on hand. When you show up and have an interest, stuff generally opens up for you.

I decided to make myself handy, as I didn’t want to just sit around all day. I fixed the sink drain. Bev lent me her car to go down the road to the hardware store to get plumbing fixtures. I fixed a door, took it off the hinges, cut it down, planed the threshold, re-set the hinges etc. and Kim made the beds and cleaned the bathroom and tub. Bev later gave us our tab and lodging for free, plus told Kim she could have a job next summer at the store if she wanted.

8/29
Mosquito Lake. I collect Kim-isms, she makes what you call paraphasic errors or literal paraphasic errors; it’s a brain/ memory storage thing. I write them all down. On the trail here she called in utero ‘inverto’ and came up with the underwritten agreement. Some of my favorites are: irresputably true, Silicone Valley, Samolians, an inert structure of goodness, fluid in Spanish, arbortorium, degradated, unchartered territory, periodontical disease, Telemarket skiing, Stonehedge, emperial knowledge, self actualated, Barvarian pretzels, complete perplexion, appleton (appellation), etc. etc., you get the idea.  My Mom has the same thing.

Conifer needles provide an endless exercise in recognizing pattern variation. In Trout Lake you descend out of the mountains and all of a sudden there are Ponderosa pines and larches, the beginnings of the dry side forest. A cool part of my tree study is walking through big regional forests, developing a sense of the landscape and variation at the level of forests. I’m not just identifying individual trees, I’m seeing forest assemblages and configurations. Over all the long distance hikes this adds up to an internalization of just what constitutes Western, intermountain forests.

8/30
We hike 13.5 miles by 1:PM and stop at Blue Lake; rain, wind; we have a big fire.

8/31
Huckleberry Mountain. Foggy morning, mushrooms popping, nice aspects of green.

It takes patience and forbearance to take care of chores and packing in the dark, cold, wind; the wind unsettles all. There is no ‘inside’ to run to out here. Yesterday was a fire drill for harder weather; we get lucky, no snags fall on us. It is impossible to not camp near some tree that might fall on you. Sometimes you take more of a risk to get a good camp spot, other times the snag is too precarious and you just can’t see being under it all night.

September
September 1 – 14 miles Trout Creek
September 2 – 12.1 miles Rock Creek
September 3 – Long Road Walk to Cascade Locks - Resupply
OREGON STATE
September 4 – 6 ZERO PCT TRAIL DAYS Cascade Locks
September 7 – 10.7 miles Saddle at Trail 434
September 8 – 17 miles Salvation Springs
September 9 – 17.6 miles Paradise Park Trail Junction
September 10 – 4.9 miles by stream in ravine (Timberline Lodge AYCE buffet and Resupply)
September 11 – 16.8 Timothy Lake
September 12 – 14.4 miles Warm Spring Creek
September 13 – 17.1 miles f***ing mud pit Jude Lake
September 14 – 10.2 miles on trail Resupply at Ollalie Lake Resort Store
                                Camped at Breitenbush Lake
September 15 – 17.2 miles Shale Lake “forever hill 1.8 miles really 4.5” Jefferson P.
September 16 – 11.7 miles Koko Lake Minto Pass
September 17 – 16.5 miles Resupply at Big Lake Youth Camp
September 18 – 13.5 miles Lava Lake Camp
September 19 – 11.7 miles Obsidian Falls
September 20 – 13.1 miles Mirror Lake Sisters
September 21 – 17.4 miles Mink Lake Loop S. Lake
September 22 – 6.4 miles Irish Mountain Stormy Lake
September 23 – 17.9 miles Pool by Bobby Lake Trail Head
September 24 – 14.3 miles Resupply @ Shelter Cove shared cabin w/Ferdy  & Lady D
September 25 – 7.8 miles Geese Lake
September 26 – 13.6 south side Summit Lake
September 27 – 12.4 miles Road 60
September 28 – 10.6 miles Maidu Lake
September 29 – Broken Arrow hiker/biker camp Diamond Lake
September 30 – 2.0 miles hitch to Crater Lake Mazama Store for ride to Klamath Falls
OCTOBER 1 – forever Amtrak trip back home to Martinez/Napa/Sonoma

9/1
Huckleberry Mountain. I’m getting the campsites and days mixed up here. In my journal I wrote notes the morning after, Kim noted the night of. Hers are the chronological dates above, my dates are the text; they don’t match. You get the idea.

“I found my thrill, on blueberry hill”. We camped on a blueberry hill off trail, on a soft spot under the trees, away from thru-hikers. Solitude. Sunrise breaks on us at the top of a mountain in pink, low angle glowing light; “what does your sparkle, truly portend? Shimmering brilliance, light without end”. A great eastern WA sunrise with the Columbia Gorge, Mt Adams, Noble fir and cones, the big sweep, a regional consciousness grows.

As we change elevations, go into and out of valleys, we see alder, maple, oak on the lower elevation hillsides, big Douglas firs, cedary bottomlands, we cross rivers, swim, cross fields and look at the black cottonwood by the stream. Down by the Wind River we cross a ‘dump line’, below which it rain 80” per year. Micro-environments interweave through the land, fingering together aspects of elevation, temperature, precipitation, exposure, latitude, proximity to drainage, soil type etc.

9/2
Start at: Trout Creek. My hiking is stronger. We got an early start, hiked 12 miles up a steep grade and down to an old camp at Rock Creek where we holed up for 3 days, during a wicked storm in 2008. We had a stupid fight over nothing other than being knuckleheads, ate 2 dinners, in the tent by 5:30 PM

9/3
Rock Creek. The PCT could be the cure for the obesity epidemic. Hike 500 miles, you can’t eat enough and you still lose weight.

Kim comes off with a hard comment or throw and then gets super sensitive if I give a hard retort, the she loads on all past perceived slights to say ‘all is fucked up’; she loads it on, gunny sacking they call it, open up the bag of stuffed feelings and unload all at once. Of course I am entirely without fault because I am the King.

Heading for a resupply and small break we hoof it in 16 plus miles from Rock Creek, down long dirt roads, into Stevenson, WA, along the rail, along the river, over the bridge and into Oregon, to the same camp area park where we hung out and had a great time with a thru-hiker named Serpico back in 2008. Kim hits it off with the host; she hits it off with everybody, very present. I’m more selective, I need to find somebody interesting; I don’t suffer fools gladly.

9/4
Back in the Combine at Cascade Locks, we had a great burger and soft serve ice cream. As long as we have a tree and picnic table, life is good; shade, a place to sit and work, very nice. After man invented picnic tables he invented paper to provide a palette for his multitude of thoughts and reflections, and then he invented ‘inside’ so the paper wouldn’t blow away and he could work in peace to register and record his momentous cogitations. (Now I laboriously transcribe these trail scribblings nearly two months after we finished, and @ 1 month after the date of this 9/4 entry, on 10/1. It’s work to get this journal ready for public consumption.)

I get interested in the history of Cascade Locks, the discovery, Lewis and Clark, the Columbia River transport, logging, fire, geology, volcanics, salmon, Indians, railroad, highway. I’ve always got to have an interest and I find one; I’m lucky that way; I stay occupied with endless projects, all of my choosing, I get paid for none, love them all, amateur, from amar, to love; the amateur loves it, not jaded by professional obligation. This is part of the independently poor lifestyle, no boss, no rules, no limits, only wide-open space of my choosing. With my high written/verbal output, Life is the muse, I’m the instrument; I filter it through, adding perspective and depth as the years roll by.

9/5
Cascade Locks. Kim’s hip is hurting bad, ibuprofen has no effect. The long 16 mile walk into Cascade Locks, seems to have given her a repetitive motion trouble. Yesterday we spent kicking it in the library. We’re staying for the Pacific Crest Trail Association’s (PCTA) Trail Days festival and also so Kim can visit one of her best friends from Portland. I decided I wanted  to scope out Trail Days and ask some questions of people, find out how the PCTA sees the hiking community. This is just as well, as Kim’s injury makes a good break point.  

9/6
Cascade Locks. Very cool to be among the trains, the tracks, the whistles, the rumbling of the cars. There’s no hobos, but the sounds…., great. We see Lion Heart, Kim’s favorite thru-hiker; he hangs out with us; we feed him.

The Bridge of the Gods, over the Columbia River, was opened for pedestrians only for a half hour and we went up. This was a great demo of gadgetry: photos, photos, photos, cell phones, sending pics, not about being here now. This was the first trip ever for me, for a long, long time, where I left my camera home. I liked it, I had to take things in as they were, not try to own and capture, objectify the experience. I’ve got 50,000 pictures on my computer now, how many more do I need?

9/7
En route from Cascade Locks to Saddle at Trail 434. I learned at Trail Days that Cuban fabric came from sailing technology, fibers are fused together in bath, they’re not woven, Cuban fabric is entirely impermeable, it doesn’t take on water or water weight, yet it does not take abrasion well, not compared to nylon.. The white threads in the green fabric, of a ULA pack, are very strong, and costly. I found I may not actually save that much weight by having a bag done over for my old Kelty pack frame.

9/8
We walked out of the Columbia Gorge on the PCT, not the alternate Eagle Creek, almost have our first day without seeing anyone, just as the day was ending, two hikers appeared, just as we got in our tent, at the above mentioned saddle at trail 434.

9/9
Salvation Springs. After reading Machiavelli here on the trail, The Prince, it all comes together for me about socio-econ relations in Sonoma: defenders of the status quo are those who to which advantages accrue. NIMBYs are all about the status quo, whatever it is. They fight hard to keep it. There is a different status quo for wine, residents, east side residents, foothills residents, servant class. Each has a peculiar set if interests that they want to see maintained, i.e. status quo.

In the hierarchy, upper middle class residents see they are at odds with the nobles. Servants see little difference between the upper middle and the nobility. In fact, interests do cut across classes of people, depending on the issue at stake. In some cases the nobles and homeowners interests intersect, in others not.

Pretty much what we have in Sonoma is the nobles, the merchant class and leisure class’ Silicon Valley new money running the show while the people get it up the ass with high rents and prices. The city sides with the nobles more often than not because from therein comes the money to run the city and pay for the staff. The nobles will get the disputed trail for their $2000 dogs.

It’s an easy enough strategy to run the working class out by attrition and high prices, then they have no voting power, no ‘people’ left. The middle class will become the new people, the new bottom of the barrel. The servant people are left then in an unincorporated area with one county representative instead of 5 council members; disenfranchised, redlined and gerrymandered.

The Prince: may be Darius Anderson. The nobles are: winery owners, the Dietert family, the really rich et al. The nobles are all vying to princedom themselves. The bourgeoisie are: the merchants who take it up the ass in rent from the nobles. The servant working class then gets low wages because the merchants can’t afford to pay high rents ($10-$20,000 a month), sell elite knickknacks and pay a decent wage. So, the bourgeois and working classes have a possible basis for an alliance against the nobility and the Prince.

One way to cut the cake: the servant class and home owners are “the people”; the nobles are above these, the business class is the new aristocracy. Some homeowners will try to justify the nobles; they are noble posers.

The I-T and Chamber of Commerce are lackeys and agents of the Prince and the nobility.

The US is supposedly a meritocracy, not a system of government based on inherited power (aristocracy); part of merit is having the strongest, most compelling argument that satisfies the most sections of the pie. It continually gets worked out in democracy and representative government. Only now it seems the US has devolved back, into a plutocracy, the power is concentrated, the money all controlled, merit is more and m ore an illusion. I smell revolution, the seeds and contradictions are more and more apparent; we never really got away from our roots in slavery and oppression.

In Sonoma, who is the Prince? Susan Gorin, Darius Anderson, the City Council? Or is it a sandbox of nobles and commoners with a government status quo inertia as the arbiter of these two groups? Who frames issues before the public? Who are the mercenaries?

I can’t help but suspect that a status quo focusing on the nobles is puppet-stringed by the 1%, behind the economic power curtain. The bourgeoisie, the merchant class is the new nobility and aristocracy; the 1% is the Lord and King, the Prince. This is all very much a class issue. To pretend not, to obfuscate this core class difference of interests, is disingenuous, as to the nature of the issues at stake.

If not a class issue, the nobles wouldn’t fight so hard against a decent living wage, or argue that equity was a taking. In reality any taking is just the reverse; nobles take the excess value of commoner’s labor as profit and horde that at the top, while the servants get run out of town from super high prices and rents, to leave Sonoma as a haven of self-serving nobles who keep the city council at their command. The council can’t represent “the people”, if there are no people left in town to vote for them.

Machiavelli jibes with the observation that much of altruism is based on self-interest.

We have ingrained moral capacities of loyalty, harm, fairness, purity, respect for authority. These then pan these out along the spectrum of interests of nobility, Prince, people, government etc.

Morals are instincts at a conscious level; they derive from a deep structure grammar capacity for them; morals are not to be understood by looking at the content alone. At some level, it is the interests of a class or subgroup that informs the content morals. Harm? Fair to who and why? This obviously opens up that different societal subgroups have different interests and thus will see harm and fairness differently. This is the academic twist, the one that seeks to know how it all works; in the overall exegesis, this comes before trying to justify a particular class or group’s interests. It’s a meta view, one I habitually take.

9/10
Paradise Park trail junction. Playing games: losing is not so bad; it’s the playing part that is fun; take my table game/ Parcheesi attitude to local politics, be clear about my expectations, have a positive influence, influences based on my values, treat others with respect, play to my ability.

My basic assumption: government is good and has a positive and constructive role to play in steering the quality of life for all members of our community. Government is the gatekeeper, a balancer of scales, an agent of justice when socio-econ actors get too out of whack and need to be regulated. If someone wants no government, they should not be in it, if the message is only to have gov’t do the least; get rid of ‘em!

We climb up the long trail on the north approach to Mt. Hood, come across sandy volcanic debris-filled canyons, cross big glacial creeks, eat major huckleberries, eat lots of power bars and are still tuckered out bad, maybe dehydrated. A long fucking hill! We time our arrival for the lunch buffet. The Timberline Lodge, which the PCT goes right to, was built by the WPA; was that socialism? This is one of the great WPA projects, a great chapter in US history, hard to see how anyone can knock where this comes from, outstanding architecture, art, use of materials, care of construction. This is a national historic site: “This site possesses national significance in commemorating the history of the USA”. Just goes to show that whatever historical/ political narrative you buy into, socialist, commonwealth aspects of American history are worthy of national significance.

The murals and paintings of period scenes at the Timberline are notable for the lack of people represented with cell phones; people were just hanging out talking, they had to engage, no retreat into devices. It’s almost an alien world in those paintings, the dance, the band, the social fabric was primo, be there or be square. The paintings and images show a more socially intimate time, less alienation than we have going now.

We munched out big time at the buffet. I said, ‘I’ll never eat again’. We got a small takeout box each, loaded them to the brim with turkey, pork chops, cheese, veggies, fruit and at 6:PM, after hiking some miles down the volcano and setting up camp KDB and I eat all the take out food, 5 lbs. of it! We have hiker’s appetite.

9/11
5 miles south of Timberline Lodge by a creek. Wilderness, a retreat from civilization, reconnect with the earth, you hope to find healing, meaning and significance in the natural order, kind of like Rachel Carson and all the others said.

9/12
Here at Timothy Lake I took a muddy swim; many of the lakes so far have been hard to swim in because of low water and no access by stones and no sandy bottom; the muck ripped my Crocs right off, they were stuck down in the bottom, I had to fish them out with a stick. Lots of birds at Timothy; we had a fire. There was a crazy baby osprey squawking madly, endlessly, get rid of it, man alive.

Toilet paper. People talk about going to the bathroom, but there is no bathroom in the woods. Your ass and shit are so taboo you can’t even talk about it in honest terms. People leave TP on the ground everywhere, as if after they wipe their ass it is radioactive waste. Leaving blue bags of dog shit is the new thing.

I’ve been looking for larches along the trail and have not seen one, only one in Trout Lake, off trail and at lower elevation. “We did it on a larch”. Lark? Did it?

9/13
We react to stereotypes of people we have in our heads, react to an inner dialogue and narrative rather than what is in front of us. In this way, smart phones are perfect as they mimic an existent inner process, the phones and Internet access amplify a narcissistic tendency.

We had a nice fire in another same camp as 2008.

We’ve been doing 15 – 17 miles a day pretty consistently; got to a shithole lake with thick muck, can’t even get in. In a lake like that you might try and dive in over the muck only to be ripped open by a submerged log; I narrowly missed that fate once. We went through the Warm Springs Indian Reservation, right through an active fire with bunches of Indian firefighters. After seeing white guys after white guys in Sonoma and on the trial, the Indians looked different, great faces.  

9/14
Breitenbush Lake. We got as picnic table, had a fire, enjoyed the sense of big expansive water and sky. The campground is owned by Indians and it is free, a nice twist, contrary to white guys who need money for everything. It’s nice to get some real hospitality while your on the trail.

9/15
A fire; the stars; the wind. Nice and simple. Uncomplicated. Salamanders and water bugs. Not much to worry about.

For a time I exist not conscious of being happy or not, just existing. The mind is quiet. The stars impress directly, past my eyes and into my consciousness unfiltered. I feel the wind, the warm fire. That’s it. Soon to move, pack, walk, eat. The body is well worked. There are no wrong notes here. Everything fits, turns out just as it should and will be. We’re in the groove, letting the game come to us. We bracketed this, planned it, put ourselves in the position to feel this deep simplicity.

The faint blush of dawn comes across the lake against the receding night sky, trees silhouetted, ducks and animals stirring, whispering pines, fire, just really nice, horizon of coniferous spires of boreal forest, dark in front of the glowing, coming sun and day. This grows on you, you open more to this sort of feeling. We know the potential is here, it’s just a matter of putting ourselves in place to get it; then it comes on its own accord. We end up finding what we’re looking for, in the perfect place. Part of what we find is the inter-relation of self/ consciousness and nature; it’s not all us. The nature part is something beyond us.

We go 17.2 miles, lots of elevation gains and losses. Kim read the map wrong and said we had 1.8 miles to get to a lake to the night’s camp. It was actually 4.5 miles. Under the presumption that it was a short ways, we ate a power bar and started to chug up the hill, figuring to knock off that 1.8 and be done with the day, swim etcetera. But the hill just kept going on and on, up and up. I was making a pull and Kim was behind me by a ½ mile or so. Back where she was, she heard a huff in the bushes and thought it was I, she said “Fred, cut it out!” Turns out, it was most likely a bear huffing at her. And, as I saw her on the switchbacks below coming up, I got the great idea to scare the shit out of her by jumping out, which I did. It is always too funny to see them jump back, the look on their face, and then she told me about the real bear.

We got to our lake, Shale Lake with a nice view of Mt. Jefferson. The volcanoes all blend in, in the end; my journal has focused on inner things, not as much detail about where we’ve been on the ground. My ideal is to produce something like Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, philosophy, anthropology and shit mixed in with the description of a journey plus is little naturalist/ Transcendentalist fusion on the side.

9/16
Shale Lake. When things quiet down, in the Fall, after the bulge of thru-hikers has gone through, you find what you’re supposed to be getting out here, quiet, solitude, peace, reflection, tranquility, depth, unity with nature.

Where has the summer gone? It seems to have never actually been here as we started ¾ of the way north into WA State and at that latitude, it was cold, and as the seasons progressed, it only got colder, even as we went south.  

The volcanoes are seeping into us at a profound level; going through this area twice now gives us depth. There is a fire somewhere in the region and the air is smoky. I see a wolf head in the clouds, faces in tree bark. The trees are old friends, my relatives from a long time ago, recently reacquainted, after a long separation on the tree of life.  

The first Ponderosa on the trail south of Steven’s Pass is here, @ 6000’ on a rocky outcrop. Also, the only larches on the trail south if Steven’s Pass are: south of Timberline line and north of Ollalie.

When you finally get done with thru-hikers and find some peace, then come the hunters.

I’m getting a reflective view of diff chapters of my life, as I look back, walking along, thinking, I see the book, the chapters, the development.

9/17
Koko Lake. Out in a wicked burn area after Three Finger Jack, hunters everywhere. We slogged off trail to a junky kind of camp on a shallow lake.

Contradictions were built in to the US right from the start, only white male property owners get the vote, slavery, no woman vote, child labor. We’ve had to overcome this, and in many ways, we’re still fighting the initial inequality; the same set of socio-econ relations pertains.

9/18
Lava Lake. We hiked 17 miles in less than 8 hours, Coco Lake to Big Lake. We like that Three Fingered Jack, we have a special salute we do wit three fingers. It has been dusty and smoky, then wet and muddy, what’s worse?

Big Lake Youth Camp, good Christian hospitality. For the 7th Day Adventists, hell is not eternal, there is always a chance at redemption. They are healthy, they eat very well; you know them by their fruit. Somehow I ended up telling a story about the Mission we stayed at in Mexico, and how the guy had the exact starter I needed for my truck, just when my starter broke, and a woman said; “how can people think God isn’t real!” Yet shit, if God can procure starters, why did he allow the Holocaust?

Whatever about God, the Big lake Youth Camp folks are really nice and provided excellent free service with no proselytizing; they are walking their walk. Thanks you; they are one of the top resupply places on any trail. 

100s and 100s of miles of rich landscape variety we have passed through, lava, fog, Fall ferns, fire, glaciers, mountains, meadows, geese migrating. These miles endear you to the land, melt you into it.

We left Big Lake after grubbing down in their cafeteria, doing laundry, taking showers, and, they sent us with a doggy bag! We ate that before too long and walked through burn areas and started to get into more and more lava, as we gained elevation. The weather turned bad on us just as we got to the cloud ceiling, cold, wind, rain, and a long ways to go. It was amazing out there, foggy driving rain and wind; Belknap Crater; it was an exposed difficult stretch; we had to tough it out, lava substrate very rough, cold, wet, wind chill, had to walk fast and steady to stay warm; no wind breaks, no shelter, I got ahead of Kim, hoped she didn’t fall down. We had to stop and eat power bars, out of energy. And then, in the midst of this big lava field, are two islands of forest that the lava didn’t get, that gave us a windbreak, then back out into the storm, trying to hustle to get below the cloud ceiling, on and on we went, seemed like forever, a long 4 plus mile run that had to be made in one shot no matter what, no water or shelter out there; the lava formations were crazy in the fog, horizontal rain, heat sucked off us. We saw the situation as we went in, going up hill, the clouds enveloped us; we entered, we were on, better get out of there ASAP. The going was hard. I was jacked on adrenaline, couldn’t make a wrong step, my body was ready.

We got to Lava Camp at dusk and I made an illegal fire, so what, we were cold and wet, Kim dried her clothes. Kim had a 40 plus pound pack from the resupply, with her new lighter shoes, through all that rough terrain. She’s tough.

9/19
Obsidian Falls. Yesterday was our most physically challenging day yet. Lava Camp, there are always crude, inconsiderate jerks at campgrounds, people are just dumb and assholes all over.

In Christianity, each has a piece of it, humanity itself is the cornerstone; Kim has realizations I note; this is the same with all other paradigms; it’s a pie diagram, all aspects have a piece of it.

We get a multi volcano view: Adams, Hood, Jefferson, 3 Finger Jack, Washington, Belknap Crater, Willamette Valley, John Day Fossil Beds, North Sister, we are immersed in the landscape, big and little.

Weekend in Sisters, people, people, people.

9/20
Mirror Lake. Obsidian Falls area is amazing, obsidian everywhere, the ground glittering with shiny, brilliant, glossy obsidian of all types and stages of melt, mixed like cake and cookie dough. I think I see evidence of stone tool working by someone, really cool. The stars are out big time, waterfalls, Middle Sister, a long view of the Willamette Valley mountains, very peaceful. Orion seems set in the foreground against deeper stars in the fabric of space. I remember my dad telling me about these stars when I was a kid. Dad was a navigator in WW2 on a B-17 bomber.

At Big Lake Youth Camp they have a cabin devoted to hikers on the PCT, the food resupply packages go there, there’s a hiker box, and some magazines. One magazine had an article on New Guinea tribesmen and the look in those guys’ eyes, you could see the primitive matrix in there, the other human ancestors, the Denisovans, are in those eyes. Can my mind ever feel that primitive unity? Am I approximating it on these hikes? Or am I indelibly fragmented into abstract categories as a modern individual? Could absolutism and literalism be a way to emulate the unity and belonging we seek?

I see the unity, the stars, the forces, the energy, the matter, the life, the rotations; I know it; my mind grasps it, now just to couple that with feeling, so I create a modern way of being that fuses the secular with spirit. This all gets chunked into the refiner’s fire here on the trail; back in town I get swept away by the river of civilization, the dynamic immersion and inspiration of nature fades; other priorities come up: bills, meetings, other people’s stuff, over-eating, health etc.; I get swamped by immersion in abstract complexity, lose the trail’s sense of immersion in a unified simplicity.

The obsidian is just fantastic, all under foot, crunching , shining, huge masses of it. The various stages if its formation are evident, some minerals went through the glass cycle, others not, all mixed together like a pound cake. Pure glass, of any type, simply cooled/went from the liquid to solid state very quickly, there was no chance for crystal formation. In the pound cake examples, the cooling was at varied timing and thus glass got mixed in with basalts etc.

And then, from behind a Mountain hemlock and over the edge of a volcano: A crescent moon rises over the ridge, to shine its light on the myriad obsidian littering the ground everywhere. The stars twinkle; the waterfall hisses, the night sky emanates mystery and magic. Yeah, primitive feeling bubbling up through my domestication. I’m getting it.

137 miles left, could it be, another hike draws to a close? All these moments pass like dew, the immediate sensation of time in the present changes to memory, to the past, just like that, the living movement frozen in the past like some kind of psychic glass cycle. Now, is our time. I’m staggered by life through time and space; all the life come and gone, yet still remaining; this is as big a mysterious feeling as any of God or some such, as if the vastness of time and space does not contain a gravity of being equal to God in every sense; God, if you have to look at it that way, just personalizes all the mystery to an anthropomorphic entity, makes it easier for us to relate to. Yet, time/space/gravity/matter/dimensions are not an entity in the same sense that we view discreet packages of stuff; what is out there, what we are enmeshed in, is a lot more than an object of some sort that we can easily categorize. The fabric of time and space is fucking wild. Like my Dad said, “I can’t possibly put my understanding at such a large level”. The best you can do is sit back and enjoy the ride, trust in it. There doesn’t need to be a reason or an intent, that’s just more anthropomorphizing.

By getting up at 4:30 AM, I find the solitude. This niche is wide open. No chatter from the hordes of weekenders, thru hikers, hunters, only stars, waterfall, moonlight, obsidian and my witness. What this solitude and contemplation does, in a facsimile of wild nature, it puts one in their proper place of importance; it teaches humility. The bright sun of day, of my identity, is just one star, one sparkle, one piece of obsidian among many. Humanity is the same among all of life. I am life yet just one piece of it, indelible yet expendable, precious yet anonymous and ultimately unprotected from mortality. I am a part of the expression of life through 500 million years from the Cambrian, through 10 billion years from the Big Bang, all coming on, all being expressed and passing, the trilobites, the dinosaurs, the saber tooth tigers, the Neanderthals. The solitude gets me put into context. This is not all about me. This is way more. I feel the humility as a rush of inspiration, alone, sitting, the night sky fades ever so gradually before the dawn, Kim rustles and starts to pack her stuff. The days pass, the precious days taken for granted in a mundane trance. We’re here! We’ve got each other. The Big Dipper and Orion melt and disappear a little at a time before the coming day, as this trip will fade in front of town and city. This is why we came back to the trail; it puts us in the real, in the natural cycles from which we emerge, shows us where we really stand in life. The immersion has to have time to sink in, months to be steeped in everyday, watching the stars, the moon, the sun, the wind, you start to get it. ‘It’ is bracketed to be found somewhere between Point A and Point B, in the process, maybe we get it, maybe not, you have to keep trying; it usually comes. 

We have Quality in Sonoma. I have a place and an agenda: socio-economic-environmental justice. I want to understand the practical aspects of government and move the needle in accordance with my agenda, and not be co-opted by the inertia of the status quo. I want to rock the boat with grace, with reason, open up the ground of primary assumptions that form values and morals, not with vitriol, not as Don Quixote.

A town does not have to inevitably succumb to all the worst aspects of gentrification and tourism. There are multiple classes of people to keep in mind, not just the nobility. We are not seeing trickle down economics, we’re seeing trickle out demographics. A bag of cabbage is not adequate compensation for letting the nobles take over. In town, when you join in the master narrative, it becomes like the Stepford Wives, you get comfortably numb. The goodness of humanity does show through with the impulse to generosity, plenty of petty stuff too. Life in Sonoma is good, it’s tempting to sweep away the poverty, inequity and anything else that might be sand in the shoe, of the feel good, epicurean, eat drink and be merry, wine country lifestyle story.

In the balance the trail restores a sense that people are good. Then you see a thru hiker, rude, elite, fast, in a hurry, no contact. It’s hard to keep in the movie I want when there is constant interaction with people who have a different focus. As I said, the weekenders and section hikers are much more pleasant; they stop, like to chat, aren’t all about the gear, the outdoors is special because they’re only getting a little slice; they’re not on auto pilot, sleepwalking through. 

9/21
Mink Lake Loop. We came through all the big sexy volcanoes and now it’s back to the lakes and the woods. This is a dry year. It’s been cooler overall and now more as the Fall comes on. We didn’t swim near as much as 2008.

The grey jays are fun birds to watch, cute little camp robbers. They come in with a certain modus operandi, spread out in a platoon, silent, they stake out multiple vantages, glide and swoop in, one scouts closer, they surround the area; if their is pay dirt, they move in as a group. From a nearby twig they sit and look at you, a curious little species. Individual ones are probably different but in overall behavior, they’re the same.

The sun, therefore there are eyes to see it. The spinning of the earth and therefore night and day, hair to shield and to keep warm. The tilt of the axis and therefore the seasons. The molten iron core and therefore plate tectonics. The sun, heat, photons, energy, energy packets, photosynthesis, food, carbohydrates, all spun out of the Big Bang, out of fused elements baked in distant star cores. The refiners’ fire, I’d say. It’s likely the ultimate order of it all escapes us. That doesn’t stop the inquiring mind from pursuing a desire to know what’s going on.

I’m coming at this as a naturalist, as a secular humanist; this is my base channel. I feel the same sense of magic and awe that faith-based takes may provide. Religion, however, is a partial category in the same way science is, they’re both part of a modern, fragmented sensibility where socially constructed aspects seem to exist isolated from a whole. Supposedly in the primitive human state, all these constructions were part of a unified fabric, there was no subject/ object, “religion” or “art” etc., these things were just part of daily life.

For me to compare the awe factor between science and religion, is apples to apples.

So, I found a lightweight metal tent stake. I broke one earlier and needed another for our rig. Some folks came by and commented about it: ‘the Lord provides’. I guess the Lord also taketh away. Why would a Lord get involved with something as trivial as a tent stake? I could easily make one out of wood if I wanted. Why did the Lord allow all the wars of genocide? Allow us to propagate a huge extinction event on the very creatures we were supposed to steward and see be fruitful and multiply? What kind of crazy lesson is that? As a corollary, what assumptions lie at the base of the origin of human nature? Religions are hardly self evident or proven in any common sense way. It’s all Wizard of Oz, behind the curtain type stuff.  It requires a suspension of belief in order to get the faith. To think God is involved in the minutiae of all lives, I think is a sorely mistaken idea. At some point we have to be adults and measure our own behavior.

Hikers typically use a trail adventure as a prop to gain support for a cause, a sick person etc. and then look for sponsors. Something about the trail makes it a special forum. Something lends the air that people would want to contribute to this very special thing, or shit, even read about it on someone’s journal. We get into this some by announcing the itinerary of our hike and hint that people could send us food and treats.

9/22
Stormy Lake. We’ve got wicked thunder, lightning and driving rain right over us. It snuck in. The weather forecasts we heard were wrong. We’re out on a point buy a lake. Kim is scared bad; there’s nothing we can do now that wouldn’t put us in even greater exposure to danger. I rather enjoy the excitement of a close storm.

Yesterday we got into an area of white fir, another one of Douglas fir. Kim says, “it’s like everyone went home”; the woods are quiet, only saw two people today. Now, however, it gets colder, more threat of a snowstorm.

9/23
Stormy Lake, the quality of our shit has changed to cow plop consistency, for three days now, no more turds and logs. The limited ingredients of the trail diet may be catching up with us, no matter how many fiber caps we take.

I have a sense that population growth overall, in the big cities adjacent to the PCT and AT, has a correlation with the increased trail use we have seen. Indeed, Portland and Seattle are among the fastest growing cities in the nation, to the tune of 25,000 new people each every two years, many of these young, recreational enthusiasts. No wonder we felt overrun in all the attractive, Cascade areas outside these cities, in the summer season. The trick: go to places no one is attracted to, places not advertised in Backpacker magazine, learn to appreciate the mundane forest, cultivate an interest in that (trees, mushrooms, lichens, ferns) which can be found in less spectacular areas.

The US is the third most populous country in the world, 318 million people. Up until 2008 the US population was growing well. The people are here, they want recreation, to get outside. The simple fact: there are too many people over all to find solitude in the public lands set aside for such purpose. The more fun, attractive places get advertised, the more they will not provide the very qualities people go there to find. We saw this on the John Muir Trail, outside of LA and San Francisco, people, people, people, 50 or more per day. Conclusion, the wilderness experience is being diluted and destroyed by too many people. This is beyond public land management agencies ability to deal with, they can have quotas, but then they are de-funded and have no staff to enforce anything.

From the era of the 1964 Wilderness Act, where the idea was to set aside areas ‘untrammeled by man’, what we see today in 2014, 50 years later, is one butt load of trammeling. Kim says “people are starving” for something real, for nature; they are obese, they have too much and not enough.

Cloudy, somber Fall days with grey clouds and silvery sun. The mood is everything. It’s still and quiet, whispering wind in lonely trees. The geese come, trumpeting the sound of the seasons; they are the living sign of the big wheels turning, the axis tilting. We walk through a burn area and the wind howls and screams through the snags. A perfect cool, windy Fall day.

I’ve seen the geese my whole life, huge masses of them, Canadian geese, in fields in the Midwest, in the Central Valley of CA, in storms along the Olympic Coast, along the Willamette River valley; they come from the north, migrating. Snow geese, Brandt’s geese. When I see and hear them, in the Fall, I’m imbued with a sense of mystery and fascination. I don’t need a watch or a calendar; the geese, you know it in your bones, the seasons. The geese reveal the rhythm of the whole earth; it’s direct knowledge, no interpretation needed, it’s Fall, life goes by.

The various outlandish claims of energy bars are always entertaining to read: raw, vegan, organic, natural, made with love etc. Power Bar is careful to not say one word about natural, they trumpet the caloric, nutritional content. Foodyism is another ripe area to open up. I’ll hold that one aside for now. Suffice it to say that Kim and I are not purists, and maybe that translates to not being purists in anything, generalists, muddy river people.

9/24
Bobby Lake Trailhead. The grey, barkless tree trunks of the burn areas… a fantastic, somber and barren landscape. We are connoisseurs of the barren. We called the Pinacate Volcanic Preserve in Mexico, the crème de la barren. We like the Nevada Basin and Range desert, the Sonoran Desert, the Mojave, Baja; it moves us.

On the trail, with no smart phone or other access to news sources, we are dependent for weather forecasts on word of mouth. People will say: big storm coming, 3 days of rain, then we get nothing. It’s not supposed to rain for 3 days, then we get hammered by thunder and lightning. We did hear about the Napa earthquake and called home to find out that yes, a lot did shake down in our apartment, it took Kim and I @ an hour to clean it all up, broken knick knacks mostly, glass.

I prefer the abstract view: society, history, culture. I look for a meta perspective to understand. Psychological self-reflection in terms of emotions etc., really analyzing interpersonal relations, are not my strong suit or my interest yet I am forced into it by being with Kim. It’s good though, once I do open a few things up it’s refreshing, a new thing. It’s easier to see this type of stuff in other people. Once I recognize there is some sort of general pattern, and that it may apply to lager contexts, then I’m interested.

9/25
Shelter Cove, Odell Lake, we share a cabin with Lady Darnita (or Danette, Danish super model) and her husband Ferdinand. During a hard, cold rain it is lovely to be inside with heat, toilet, shower, kitchen, bed, refrigerator, all the outstanding accouterments of civilization! If they could only make beds and mattresses more solid and not like the Grand Canyon in the middle. The technology of mattresses could be a lot better. At the cabin we get all dried out, munch out well, get our resupply and get all situated to go back out into the rain and weather again. George sends us 2 lbs. of smoked salmon, what a treat!

Down at this lower elevation by Odell Lake we are into the white fir, fun to get into new tree habitats, which mainly vary with elevation and latitude. I sit in chair, inside, outside it rains and rains, out on a dock by our cabin I fancied I saw my grandfather Alfy, getting into a boat, fishing for kokanee. I’ve fancied that the little birds around us the whole hike have been all my relatives.

Pond life, ripples of water striders, cloud reflections, all the precious little creatures to protect with good practice and ethics: don’t swim with sunscreen and DEET bug dope all over you, don’t get any soap in the water.

9/26
Geese Lake. Dawn comes, cotton candy clouds reflected in a cold, still pond surrounded by foggy spires of boreal coniferous canopy; grey, foreboding clouds shift to show pockets of stars, cold! Mists float across the pond surface.

The mists almost look like the spirits of people floating along, somehow emerging from the dark unknown of the lake’s depth. King Arthur. The lake is a concentration of life, an amplification of life and thus is a good spot to meditate on nature, still, quiet yet rippling with motion and life force.

Indecisive Expeditions, the tent pole broke so we are going home. Then we aren’t going home and will finish to the Oregon, CA border. Back and forth. This time of season it is at once great for the quiet yet the cold and weather is getting tough. It has been cold and we have summer gear. We vacillate on what call to make, stay, go, what? The days count down, 10 and counting. I want to go the distance, Kim does and doesn’t.

On the trail you have to adapt to long-term fitful sleep, hard, lumpy, slanted ground, cold, wet, heavy tent to carry, wind blowing your stuff all around, cut up, scraped and chafed. You go through it, don’t pay attention to the discomforts, put away the pain, put away the idea that this is too much to handle; you handle it. You do get long-term sleep deprived. Then you get a cabin, a bed, and the bed is so saggy you can’t even sleep, it destroys your back much more than hard ground, even less sleep.

When it’s raining you need to cover your pack. But then you need stuff, clothes, food, water. I need to be able to rig my pack to be able to get at the food, water and gear when it’s raining and wet. I don’t know if that is possible; surrender to getting wet may be the best prep.

Diamond Peak, each volcano has different aspects and flavor. We find ourselves up high, at the border of the snowline and the cloud ceiling. When we came through here in 2008 the whole area was covered in snow and we were getting lost from not being able to follow the trail; now we see the land.

9/27
Summit Lake. Kim is more a pure Christian than 99% of Christians. She says: “It’s about the heart of Christ, not the life of Christ.” She has the love and compassion in spades; she came that way; she gives away all she’s got; she’s like a mountain spring for people, they just want to drink. This is her gift. Part of it though leaves her open and vulnerable when she might prefer to be less so. The very thing that makes her so great also makes it hard for her personally. Other people see the great, not the cost it exacts. She has to deal with the openness on a daily basis, has the impulse to retreat from people and society, to find quiet and refuge, on the trail. She can’t turn people down, so her strategy is like mine with butter, just don’t have it around, try to control the inputs by limiting exposure.  As well, Kim is attractive and shapely, gives good eye contact, has a nice voice, many guys then think she is wide open for their advances. I stole her myself.

We hear the geese at night. They fly by the stars. They swoop noisily into lakes in the dark of night. They fly over, on into the dark, past the mountains and plains, settle on this lake or that. They land in Summit Lake. We hear the trains whistle and ramble on in the distance, calling us to our appointment with a ride. We got tickets. We’re heading south too, home, return to the Combine. Like the geese, we only have the resources of our last feedings to get us through; the future will have to be handled by hook or by crook, by Fortune in combo with our survival knowledge and strategy.

It is fucking COLD, wicked cold. Great views of Diamond Peak with fresh snow, big rambling cumulus clouds, mists on the lake, a small fire, a cup of coffee with chocolate, everything becomes just right, perfect, it all fits.  

Jack Frost has come. Summertime done come and gone my oh my. The hard season change is a perfect bookend for the hike, three seasons, time to go, too cold, we’d need a winter gear, hard weather refit to survive this cold, rain and snow. The logistics of getting our winter gear now, for ten more days, seems too much, not worth it. At any time a big snow could come in these mountains, really put us in bad spot; we need to be smart about the context here. The mountains and nature have no pity and compassion. Nature grinds up the cute little animals the same way it would grind us up, harvest us, back to the ashes and dust. Fate and mortality are waiting anyway, best not to tempt them, if we want to enjoy a few more days under the sun. 

On this hike, in spite of it being a dry year, I’ve only carried full water once, in the Mt. Thielsen/ Windigo Pass area, where the deep pumice soil from the Mt. Mazama/ Crater Lake volcanic explosion/ deposition event, absorbs the water run-off. There are no streams, only a spring here and there. Trail Angels do good for hikers, the ones who leave water in dry areas are nor just hangers-on. These people are benefitting others that they will never meet or see. This is paying it forward. This is ‘it takes a village’. This is the nurturing family model primary assumption (vs. the strict father model) that lies at the base of a liberal world view.

We burned a LOT of calories today with the cold challenge plus hiking and exercise. We could eat all our food for 3 days in one sitting. This food has to be meted out in a controlled way, hence we burn way more calories than we consume, for months at a time, lose major weight, an outcome anticipated and desired, but you get to be one hungry motherfucker! You get hiker’s appetite, feared by the owners of buffet style restaurants.

9/28
Road 60, off in the woods. Winter beckons. We hike strong and still are not warm. Stopping to eat causes cold issues and the need for more clothing. Clothing modulation becomes more important, more clothes, too hot, less clothes, too cold; the high tech aspects come in handy, such as ways to control your hood, unzip the pants in the middle, draw string at the waist, gloves, hat, unzip the armpit etc. etc. With temperature regulation, you get too hot pulling a hill, you strip down, sweat, then the wind wicks all the heat off you when you stop; someone takes a shit, you have to stop, get cold, put on clothes, take them off. This is where gear with features comes in handy; in the shoulder seasons, summer gear is not adequate.

We see the jagged spire of Mt. Thielsen in the distance. It is revealed and then hidden b along the mountainous horizon. We get a fantasy going that Thielsen is Mordor from Lord of the Rings: Ascent to Mordor, Mt. Thielsen, cloaked in clouds, rumbling in the distance, wind, eerie lenticular clouds envelope the peak, other strange clouds open and close like funnel spider webs. We’re in a burn area and regional fires are surrounding, trouble ahead, trouble behind. Fate unknown. Yesterday was our first day in nearly two months seeing no people. Other days we saw two or three. Yes, the Fall, after the boys of summer have gone home, this is the time to find solitude.

The north part of the Thielsen Wilderness was the first place on the PCT south of Steven’s Pass to see Western white pine the stature of the ones in the Sierra Nevada. The bark up in Oregon is sometimes more furrowed than the pronounced plates in the Sierra.

9/29
Maidu Lake. Doo Doo Lake, poo poo everywhere, a high use area. Taste of Winter. At the end you get ambivalent about whether to keep going or go home. It’s beautiful, quiet, magic, all is worked out, but you are tired and beat up, cold and wet. 5:30 AM, fire, clear skies, stars, warm coffee, life is good.

From here at Maidu Lake starts a Headwaters of the Umpqua hike, 80 miles going west

All that’s left of our other long distance hikes are memories, gone like the wind, the places we stayed, the space we occupied, gone, vanished, passed, and so will be this trip, as our bow wave ripples through time; the wind whispers in the firs and pines, swoooosh, on we go, waves of what’s happening, breaking on the shores of the moment.

As we played our hand to account for circumstance, camp spot, windbreak, shelter, water, we positioned ourselves to guide Fortune to clear the clouds from Mordor and allow us safe passage. The Forest did its part and thanks Kim, her generosity measures out in a tangible way, she put out two abandoned fires we found along the trail. Nothing wrong with a little magical thinking, eh?

My good physical energy is thanks to Kim’s great capacity for sacrifice. She molded my Fate and Fortune by giving me the lion’s share of the food, refusing her fair share. She’s tough and strong willed like her Mom about certain things, other things not as much.

We approach the highest point on the PCT in WA and OR; clear, sun, cold, wind.

And so, within the constraints of our plans and circumstance, we let the game come to us, supple, adaptable, open to the moment, we move as way opens. This is our version of ‘the Lord provides’, our version of how it all works. Move as way opens.  

There is a lot of personal space to think and daydream as I walk these miles. I rework chapters of my life, themes, trajectories, unearth patterns and gems I missed the first time around. My project has always been inner. I’m building a house whose architecture resides in my mind and heart. To thine own self be true; walk on the path of yourself and you can’t go wrong; this is about discerning the landscape and map of one’s own capacities, how they get filled up with content, getting the lay of the land of oneself. My Dad said when he was 85, too bad I’m getting so old and decrepit, I’m finally getting it all figured out.

Interesting that I’m not into psychology per se, yet I access the same structural spaces via other categories and indicators. I get self discovery, self depth, only it’s through me being interested in big stuff, stiff outside of me, that then gets reflected back onto me. Kim’s project is personal, she works all the data and experience through a personal lens. We compliment each other and, frequently arrive at similar takes and realizations (content) via entirely different cogitative processes.

Mt. Thielsen puts on quite show, special lenticular hybrid clouds I’ve never seen, like Swiss cheese or funnel spider webs opening and closing, with sheets of webbing splayed about. The sharp peak split the cloud mass as if a boat plowing through water. We sat in awe, snacked, got more groceries on board.

We make over a 20 mile hike out of the Thielsen Wilderness, see a huge blow-down area, result of a pretty large wind event from @ 15 to 20 years ago. Once out we try to hitch to Crater Lake, no luck; there is a long dry stretch and we decided not to hike between Thielsen and Crater Lake, purists we are not. At 5: PM we walk another mile and a half to a resort store: the pizzeria at the end of the earth. In the Fall, the rain, summer is done; there’s no one around at all. The exterior of the building is rundown, drab, hard to believe there would be anything inside. Once in, voila, warm, safe, friendly people, “sure, bring your packs in”; Kim piles on the charm; the pizza oven’s gears grind a rhythmic background drone while muffled  heavy metal rock plays. Surreal, crazy. Odd paintings stare from the wall, quite the place. From the outside non-descript, crappy even, inside there is a whole scene; it saves us as the rain starts and night falls.

We get a huge pizza; I get a Coke, Kim gets a beer. Vagabonds from the mobile home/ RV set start to filter in; this is the only place to socialize; it’s 20 or 30 miles to anywhere from here.

We want to get to Mazama Village at Crater Lake to get our resupply package; it may have beef jerky. We have to get to Klamath falls by the 6th to make our train; Kim reserved the tickets by phone at the Odell Lake resort, back in our cabin. Kim hits it off with the manager Gary. She hits it off with everybody; she sees the good, admonishes me to be more tolerant. Gary tries to get us a ride to Crater Lake, to Mazama, to the AMTRAK at Chemult, OR, Kim is offering $25 for gas, no dice. No RV people step up. Now, as I write, we are at a deserted campground in the cold rain as night geese fly in to Diamond Lake. The weather is turning cold.

I’m not cynical about trail angels now. No one in the restaurant or at the resort would help us with a ride; all the people who know about hikers have gone home too. Now we are just dirty vagabonds and strangers in an out of the way shack in rural Oregon, nothing special, no mystique, no story, no buzz, just two dirty, tired looking people with big packs, god knows where they came from, sit at the other end Marge, get away from them.

9/30
Mazama Village, Crater Lake National Park. Carolyn Davis is the Assistant Retail Manager of the Mazama Village Store. When I walked in I remembered her from 2008, she took care of forwarding our bug suits to us and was very nice. She was very nice again. She loves the hiker scene and was tickled I remembered her.

At the store Kim meets the trolley driver and arranges for him to pick us up at the end of the day and take us to Klamath Falls. We wait all day, bitter cold, Carolyn gives us many free hotdogs, coffee, she takes care of us; we get a shower.

The trolley is late, Kim is freaking out, the guy finally comes and down off the mountain we go, though Ponderosa, cottonwoods, into the Basin and Range, the Klamath Basin, by Fort Klamath, Agency Lake, sweeping Cascades view, all the Indian history, Captain Jack down in Modoc country, a stunning view of Mt. Shasta, getting back to our home turf, over to the west is Mt. McLaughlin, train tracks, then Klamath Lake, a huge Bureau of Reclamation project, salmon, irrigation, tension, ranching, cattle, fishing rights, Indians. Now hitting re-entry mode, shields are burning, Sean Hannity is on TV at the train station; I turn it off. I remain a supporter of government subsidy for AMTRAK.

10/1
Klamath Falls train station. Long night, a five hour wait for the train, we leave at 4: AM. The train is always late. Someone committed suicide in front of the train. Dawn at Dunsmuir, there is Shasta up close, the upper Sacramento River; we crossed there in 2008 on foot, back into CA, Mt. Lassen, the last Cascade volcano, the Central valley, California trees: valley oaks, incense cedar, foothill pine. We pass the Trinity Alps and the Yolla Bollys, I remember hikes with Kim in the Trinities, trail projects there too.

This is it, end of the line, once we’re off the big outdoor stage, the contextual magic starts to evaporate; we’re just not out there anymore.

Kim is charged up, full of  good energy, making friends with two different women and they talk and talk, just like all these words of mine.



     Hiker’s Creed
(for all time/humanity)
kim d.  Bartlett

As I walk the miles I’ve chosen
My aim and destination shall be
not just for me by also
for the earth itself and all upon it

With the consciousness and knowledge endowed me
I shall remind myself
what a miraculous adventure life is
I choose to revere it (no matter how
happy or sad; comfortable or miserable;
able or broken I may be)

I am one of the few
I am one of the many
sharing these miles

to respect & appreciate those
whom carved the trail through
mountains, valleys, across streams
and rivers, deserts, & forests
to silently say thank you to those
who gave that we may have;
going beyond the simple path we walk
to all the life that has preceded us
to the wonder of the beginning of the universe
we find ourselves in

We are not alone even if in solitude
there is a difference
although we seem separate we act in a whole

This truism cannot be escaped.
As we watch the butterfly flap its wings
Let us know this is us too
Our actions, thoughts & words effect
time & space beyond us

Let us realize our humanity
it’s good, it’s bad, it’s beauty, it’s ugliness
let us challenge ourselves
to allow others to hike the miles they’ve chosen,
in the fashion in which speaks to them,
knowing

it is a journey, these miles, this trail
we are given a gift which wants to be shared
the peace & beauty, the rawness & embrace
of nature is to great to bottle
it must be free
As we too yearn to be








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