Die Another Day
Fred Allebach, 3/23/09
On the way back from Mark
and Sue’s 25th anniversary/ reunion, the wind was ferocious out on
the highway and dust began to fill whole valleys and vistas all round were
clouded by more and more dust. Strong gusty wind had been blowing me around
pretty bad in Little Red and I was glad to get off the freeway and away from
semis. Who only made it worse. At the Vicksburg Road, off I-10 heading up to
Parker and Lake Havasu, there are a number of really big plowed fields, pure
dry, sun baked soil. God knows why it is plowed up like that with nothing in it
but dirt. There are dairy operations near there as well, with lots of dry
matter able to be blown about.
The wind was out of the
west, coming straight across these fields, and as I headed north, it was
blowing solid, horizontal dirt across the road creating an impenetrable
barrier, 15 or more feet high. It was o-fucking-paque, opaque, solid,
hurricane-like, in a sheet totally obscuring anything beyond. It was like a
blast furnace of dirt coming right across the frigging road. I thought I was
getting into a safer space off the highway and then this, just up the road from
a civilized Zip’s gas station. Hey, I’m trying to get somewhere, I’ve got an
agenda.
As I approached this wall
of hurling dust and dirt I just barely saw a semi in there, I thought, maybe I
shouldn’t go in and I slowed way down.
As I got closer to entry, I thought twice and stopped on the side of the
road as this vortex of dirt blasted across the road directly in front of me. It
was like being on the edge of a tornado, and it started to creep towards me. I
backed up to get away from it and mulled my choices. Mostly I just sat in the
truck and looked on, amazed. I thought, this can’t be good for the truck. In
the back of my mind was the notion of having to turn around and drive back
through LA, back to the buffeting and abuse of semis and head-on wind on I-10.
You really could see nothing in this dust, nothing; it was highly unusual, OK,
it is the road, that’s normal, but I can’t see anything into it. There was a natural trepidation to not enter
this unknown, wild and blowing space, yet what else was the inertia of life
calling me to do but go in?
In a minute or so I saw a
car and a semi come out of the wall of blowing dirt. I thought, well, if they
did it... if I go slow I can come out and then I went in, just like that, 1st
gear, into the wall of voodoo, get it done, no LA, how bad could it be if I
went super slow?
Shortly thereafter was a
car heading straight at me, in my lane and I swerved off into the shoulder, oh
shit, then back on the road, this was like a Star Trek worm hole... then
appeared a bunch of strewn, broken car body parts and plastic in the road, and
blotches of fresh oil and coolant on the pavement. Am I really seeing this, me:
Frederick C. Allebach?! All the while I am enveloped by furious dust with
vision down to almost nothing. Then I saw 3 cars smashed on the side of the
road, this was too real, eerie, oh fuck, this was the death zone, all of a
sudden this wasn't just driving but massively serious and I was in the thick of
it. My little innocent, precious life could be extinguished by mystery hurling
metal coming out of the storm. I‘ve got to see Kim again; how did I get in
here!!!@#%^??? I couldn’t let my eyes off the road as danger was everywhere
now. Who knows if there were dead people there in those crashed cars or
what? I kept going, leaving the Fate of
others behind and then 2 semis were smashed together with a cop next to them, flashing
lights and then it cleared up and I was gone. Soon there was a cop coming full
bore with lights flashing, heading into the maelstrom.
Wow, I can't adequately
explain the sense of immediate seriousness that came over me when I was in
there. Time stopped. I felt a gravity,
like, well, maybe this is it, really it, all the talk, all the life and now
it’s IT. I should have gone up through LA and lived. I guess my time wasn't up.
The Grim Reaper came awful close, closer then ever before, and he seems to be
reaching out in other ways, letting me know I am not forgotten. I’m usually not
superstitious but I am playing it cool for a while, no unnecessary risks, no
edge pushing. I’d rather die another day.
No comments:
Post a Comment